PS 


FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT; 


AN  INCIDENT  OF  THE  SEASON, 


GEORGE   DOUGLAS   BREWERTON. 


"  If  there's  a  hole  in  a'  your  coats, 

I  rede  ye  tent  it ; 
A  chiefs  amang  ye  takin'  notes, 
And.  faith,  he'll  prent  it." 

BURNS. 


CAMBRIDGE: 
PRINTED    AT   THE   RIVERSIDE   PRESS, 

18G9. 


NOT  A  BENE. 

Entered  in  accord  with  Congressional  Act 

In  the  District  Clerk's  Office,  so  please  note  the  fact, 

Of  the  State  of  Rhode  Island,  in  language  quite  terse, 

And  withal  inconvenient  to  weave  into  verse. 

Of  this  we  feel  certain,  Eighteen  Sixty-nine 

Are  the  figures  that  noted  the  year  at  the  time. 

So  be  it  remembered  'tis  the  author's  own  function 

To  be  ruined  by  "Fitz" —  so  beware  an  injunction. 

And  to  all  whom  these  presents  with  greeting  may  come 

A  caution  we  give,  though  you  may  think  it  fun: 

Don't  meddle  with  this  our  poetical  thunder ; 

'Tis  best  "  Nitro  G."  —  so  beware  of  a  blunder. 

And  now,  lest  this  entry  should  not  hold  in  verse, 

We'll  put  it  in  language  more  legal  and  terse ; 

So  below  see  it  printed  in  lawyer-like  prose, 

Though  we  fancy  our  stanza  more  gracefully  flows. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress  in  the  year  1869,  by 

GEORGE  DOUGLAS  BREWERTON, 
in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Rhode  Island 


To 
GEN.    CHARLES   COLLINS  VAN  ZANDT, 

OF  NEWPORT,  R.   I. 

DKAR  COLLINS:  —  I  never  read  a  production  of 
yours  without  a  better  understanding  of  what  true 
poetry  means.  I  confess  that  I  envy  the  power  with 
which  your  facile  pen  weaves  into  glowing  fabrics  the 
raw  material  of  the  brain.  They  need  but  one  added 
charm,  and  find  it  in  the  oratorical  grace  with  which,  in 
the  presence  of  an  audience,  your  eloquence  adorns 
the  offspring  of  an  ever  genial  and  sympathetic  heart. 

As  a  token  of  my  remembrance  of  our  life-long 
friendship,  I  have  ventured  to  dedicate  to  you  this 
poem.  If  it  find  favor  in  your  sight,  it  will  more  than 
compensate  the  labor  of 

Your  sincere  friend, 

THE  AUTHOR. 
STUDIO,  NEWPORT,  R.  I.,  October  26,  1809. 


GRACE  BEFORE  MEAT. 


"  GRACE  before  meat,"  if  meat  should 

be  found ; 

If  not,  the  comparison  falls  to  the  ground, 
And  but  for  the  freedom  to  tread  on  some  toes, 
Our  Preface  perchance  might  be  written  in 

prose  : 

A  u  poetical  license,"  —  yet  when  taken  out, 
Or  under  what  law,  is  a  matter  of  doubt. 
Our  subject  is  broad  as  the  billows  that  fling 
Their  arms  round  the  green  isle  whose  summer 

we  sing, 

Free  as  the  air  that  humanity  breathes, 
High  as  the  heaven,  and  deep  as  the  seas ; 
The  old  story  still,  as  the  centuries  creep, — 
The  ulcers  of  pride  that  lie  festering  deep 


8  GRACE  BEFORE   MEAT. 

In  the  hearts  of  the  careless,  the  giddy,  and  vain 
Who  receive  of  their  fellows,  yet  give  not  again, 
Whose  lives  are  a  vacuum  nothing  can  fill, 
Forgetting  they're  only  God's  tenants  at  will, 
Stewards  whom  the   Master  each  moment  may 

call 

To  account  for  their  talents,  and  render  up  all. 
If  with  a  free  pen  we  appear  to  have  sketched, 
Remember  our  subject  is  never  /ar-fetched, 
For  the  journey  is  swift  from  the  brain  to  the 

hand, 

And  many  the  fancies  that  rise  at  command  ; 
Nor  think  that  we  toil  without  purpose  or  plan, 
As  with  critical  vision  our  labor  you  scan  ; 
Though,  were  it  allowed  to  apologize  here, 
We'd  endeavor  to  tickle  your  merciful  ear 
By  pleading  poor  Modesty's  ancient  excuse, — 
Pen  and  ink  out  of  gear  and  rusting  for  use. 
Enough  that  we  realize  our  work  is  half  done, 
And  only  regret  it  was  ever  begun. 

And  now  for  what  we're  about  to  receive, 
May  each   reader   prove  grateful,  nor  suddenly 

leave 

A  repast  to  which  all  are  freely  invited, 
For  our  dishes,  true  snobs,  are  unused   to   be 

slighted ; 

And    your    host,    after    proving    and    ardently 

pressing, 
Might  grieve  to  have  wasted  both  dinner  and 

blessing. 


PRELUDE. 


HINK  not  of  summer  dreams  I  sing!, 
Or  on  the  high  heroic  wing 
My  Muse  may  hope  to  rise  and  soar 
Above  the  low  and  level  floor 
Where  Commonplace  sees  common  things;; 
But  though  our  little  tea-bell  rings 
While  others  swing  the  tocsin  loud, 
That  calls  each  worshipper  to  crowd 
Some  shrine  where  highest  art  shall  raise 
New  monuments  their  skill  to  praise, 
We  do  oar  work  with  lance-like  pen 
To  probe  the  hurts  of  Upper-ten, 
And  thus  perchance  the  wound  to  cure 
By  letting  out  the  cause  impure. 
0  could  my  Muse  "  the  giftie  gie  them 
To  see  themselves  as  ithers  see  them  !  " 
But  in  this  world  we  often  find, 
He  sees  the  best  who  stands  behind 
The  mighty  looking-glass  of  Fashion, 
That  mirror  ever  stained  by  passion, 
Where  envy,  hate,  and  ceaseless  strife 
Divorce  the  husband  from  the  wife, 
Make  home  a  hell  and  friends  a  curse", 
Then  take  the  vices  in  to  nurse. 


FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 

AN  INCIDENT  OF  THE  SEASON. 


JJUR  hero  may  boast  of  a  lofty  line, 

Though  his  grandsire  slipped  from  a 

scaffold, 

Ending  his  fall  by  a  twist  in  the  spine, 
And  a  drop  that  e'en  surgery  baffled. 
For  the  doctors  discovered  a  fracture  compound, 
'Twixt  the  second  and  third  of  the  vertebra  found. 
To  give  the  story  as  told  at  the  club, 

By  Fitz  Poodle,  the  innocent  martyr, 
By  way  of  reply  to  bitter  MacSnub, 

Who  delights  in  performing  the  Tartar. 
"  He   was   speaking   a  piece,"  though   quite  in 

the  dark, 

Having  drawn  on  a  night-cap  by  way  of  a  lark ; 
But  the  carpenter  fastened  the  floor  in  a  way 
Which  soon  brought  about  the  event  of  the  day, 
For  the  scaffolding  broke,  and  Poodle  Grand-pere 
Was  caught  by  a  rope  that  hung  dangling  there. 
But  where  by  that  stout  cord  he  managed  to 

swing, 
Is  to  touch  with  rude  hand  on  a  delicate  thing. 


12  FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 

We   are   told   he   was  talking-  in  accents  quite 

loud, 

On  topics  befitting  the  place  and  the  crowd, 
When   the  accident   happened  that  silenced  his 

tongue, 
For  all  but  Fitz  Poodle  declare  he  was  hung. 

At  least  he  was  buried,  and  Poodle  James  Peter, 
The  father  of  Fitz  and  a  regular  eater, 
Was  left  a  lone  orphan  and  out  of  employ, 
With  a  stomach  and  hunger, — bad  things   for 

a  boy. 

He  was  puzzled  a  little  to  sup  and  to  dine, 
Having  nothing  to  eat  and  abundance  of  time  ; 
So  when    Sirloin,  the  butcher  and  pork-packer 

too  — 

The  fellow  who  sits  in  the  red  velvet  pew  — 
Offered  Peter  a  place,  and  he  might  have  done 

worse, 

He  preferred  a  full  meal  to  a  ride  in  the  hearse. 
Now  Peter  had  ever  an  eye  bright  and  keen, 
A  sharp  eye  for  business,  as  soon  will  be  seen, 
For  he  managed  old  Sirloin  to  carve  in  a  way 
That  quite  won  the  heart  of  one  Mistress  O'Flay, 
Half-sister  to  Sirloin,  a  widow  to  boot, 
Who   called   her  first   husband,  when   living1,  a 

brute. 

But  when  he  was  dead,  the  case  was  reversed  ; 
She    vowed    that   no    babe    was    more    tenderly 

nursed 
Than  her  darling  O'Flay,  the  dearest,  the  best  — 


FITZ   POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  13 

Here  up  went   her   kerchief,  and  sobs  drowned 

the  rest. 
Now    this    widow   was    buxom,  and   Peter    was 

young, 

With  a  fine  pair  of  legs  and  a  flattering  tongue  ; 
And  O'Flay  had  left  money,  a  nice  little  sum, 
For  he  gambled  in  stocks,  and,  more  singular, 

won. 

If  the  lady  was  solid,  why,  so  was  her  pelf; 
So  Peter  concluded  to  venture  himself;    . 
Proposed,  was  accepted,  and  married  of  course, 
Yet   but   for   her   wealth   would    have    sued  for 

divorce ; 

When  — just  as   his  trials   had  verged   on   de 
spair  — 

Dame  Poodle  presented  a  son  and  an  heir, 
And  then,  in  a  highly  considerate  way, 
Took  her  leave  of  this  world  on  the  following 

day. 

Old  Poodle  —  we  trust  he  will  pardon  the  slip  — 
Still  talks  of  her  virtues  with  tremulous  lip ; 
She  had  of  this  cold  world  so  little  of  leaven, 
He   had  long   felt  the   saint   was  a  subject  for 

heaven  ; 

Had  expected  to  see  her  go  up  without  wings, 
Till  he  grew  quite  resigned  to  the  aspect  of 

things. 

So  since  his  affliction  it  hardly  seems  strange 
That  most  people  think  he  has  met  with  a 

change. 


14  FITZ  POODLE   AT  NEWPORT. 

Meanwhile  young-  Poodle  was  cooling  his  color, 
And    cutting   his    teeth    without    aid   from    his 

mother ; 
While  his  father  waxed  rich,  grew  pompous  and 

proud, 

And  forgot  the  old  time  when  under  a  cloud. 
But   still  there  was  something   of  shop  in  his 

way; 

He  had  dealt  in  cold  cuts  for  many  a  day ; 
His   work  had  heen    slashing,   through   tendon 

and  nerve, 
Through  brain  and  through  sinew,  his  purpose 

to  serve. 

What  wonder  the  habit  should  harden  him  still 
To    forget   the    poor  heart  -  strings    he    severed 

might  thrill? 
But    enough    of    old    Poodle :    he    gathers    his 

wealth ; 
Let    us    hope    that    erelong    he'll    be    gathered 

himself. 

Fitz  Poodle  was  weaned  in  a  summary  way, 
Though  men  at  the  club  have  offered  to  lay 
A  wager  the  fellow  was  still  out  to  nurse. 
They  concede  that  his  weakness  is   not  of  the 

purse, 

And  MacSnub  has  remarked  that  though    sim 
ply  a  fool, 

Our  hero  might  learn  in  Necessity's  school  ; 
That  a  doctor  of  old  had  suggested  the  way, 
When  he  said,  "  Live  on  sixpence,  and  earn  it 
each  day." 


FITZ  POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  15 

But  this  is  decided,  that  as  to  his  head, 
His  brain-pan  is  soft  as  a  new  feather-bed, 
And  his  heart    so    defiled  by  the    dross    of  his 

wealth, 

That  the   man  cannot  even  be  true  to  himself. 
Be  this  as  it  may,  with  his  folly  or  vice, 
And  the  world  has  enough  of  his  kind  to  suffice, 
He  stands  as  a  type  of  a  class  who  pretend 
To    hold    themselves    higher    than    those   they 

offend. 

How  Fitz  Poodle  passed  safely  through  measles 

and  rash, 

And  bragged  to  the  boys  of  his  pony  and  cash, 
What  progress  he  made  in  acquiring  knowledge 
Of  meanness  at  school  and  vices  at  college, 
How  he  wasted,  and  gambled,  and  sometimes  did 

worse, 
Are   things    much    too    common  to  weave    into 

verse. 

Suffice  it  to  say  that  he  grew  up  a  man  ; 
We  don't  like  the  word,  for  it  injures  our  plan  ; 
For  a  puppy  is  one  thing,  a  man  is  another, 
Though  Darwin  may  fancy  the  monkey  a  brother. 

And  now,  as  the  reader  perchance  is  a  lady, 
We'll  sketch  from  a  photograph,  taken  by  Brady, 
Of  our  hero  arrived  at  the  advent  of  twenty,  — 
A  very  ripe  age  if  your  greenbacks  prove  plenty  ; 
For    life    is    a    hot-house,    where   fruit    may  be 
forced, 


16  FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 

Though  many  the  blossom    through    rottenness 

lost. 

Imagine  a  youth  with  carroty  hair, 
A  thin  pair  of  legs,  and  the  vacantest  stare, 
With  a  nose  somewhat  large,  and  withal  slightly 

red,  — 
Perchance  its  complexion  was  caught  from   his 

head, — 
With  a  weak  crop  of  whiskers,  quite  English  in 

style, 
Whose    care    served    their  purpose,  his  time  to 

beguile ; 
But  though  nature    proved    chary  and    niggard 

in    gift, 

His  tailor,  more  gracious,  lent  Poodles  a  lift ; 
For  his  coats  were  unrivaled,  his  vests  quite  au 

fait, 
And  his  breeches  a  wonder  unmatched  in  their 

day. 

'Tis  said  that  the  flower  with  least  of  perfume, 
Is  most   gorgeous  in  blossom,  most  brilliant  in 

bloom ; 

E'en  so  the  Fitz  Poodles  put  on  to  the  back 
Each  outer  adornment,  to  make  up  the   lack 
Of  the  incense  arising  from  virtue    and  sense ; 
In  a  word,  shield  their  weakness  with  silly  pre 
tence. 

Fitz  Poodle's  papa  had  a  place  by  the   sea, 
A  cottage  ornee  —  he  might  have  had  three; 
For   his   gilt-paper  virtues  were  known   to    the 
ring. 


FITZ   POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  17 

Each    stock    that    he    bulled    was    a   promising 

thing; 

But  alas  for  the  holders  who  found  him  a  bear: 
When  lord  of  the  panic  with  truculent  air, 
The  widow  and  fatherless  pleaded  in  vain 
To  a  heart  that  felt  only  the  maxims  of  gain. 

The    season  was    spring-,  and  the  weather  quite- 

mild, 

The  heavens  looked  pure  as  a  babe  un defiled,. 
With  slow  drifting  billows  of  feathery  cloud, 
Whose  breakers  of  pearl    seemed  to  jostle   and 

crowd, 

As  through  the  soft  ether  they  floated  awaryy 
With  here  a  bright  island  and  there  a  blue  bay  ^ 
Fitz  Poodle  was  passing  a  night  at  the  club, 
With  Augustus  Redowcr,  a  friend  from  the  Hub, 
Whose  legs  led  the  German,  an  intricate  maze, 
Which  he  who  attempts  should  look  well  to  his 

ways. 

Fitz  Poodle  begins,  "  Au  Gus,  do  you  know, 
I  think  that  to  Newport  this  season  we'll    go  ; 
So  drop  us  a  line,  and  by  Jove  we  will  meet 
When   we   get   the    old    gentleman    out  of  the 

street ; 

For  summer  's  the  season,  you  see,  for  repose, 
And  business  grows  dull,  as  my  governor  knows ; 
So  we'll  make  up  a  party  with  Towzer  and 

Fearing, 
And  bring  down  the  blacks  with  the  new  patent 

gearing. 

2 


18  FITZ   POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 

Then,  if  the  old  man  is  encouraging1  loans, 
We'll  drop  into  Watson's  and  rattle  the  bones." 
Redower  assented,  for  dear  Mrs. 'Aram, 
With    two    charming    daughters,    Carlotta    and 

Fan, 

Who  suited  his  step  in  the  dance  to  a  hair, 
Had  taken  a  cottage,  and  meant  to  be  there ; 
So  the  bargain  was  made,  and  the  first  of  July 
Was  fixed  for  their  meeting  ere  Gus  said  good-by. 

The  roses  of  June  found  Fitz  Poodle  arrayed 
In  a  travelling  suit  by  his  Schneider  just  made, 
On  the  deck  of  a  steamer,  the  Bristol,  of  course, 
With  good  entertainment  for  biped  and  horse. 
Next  morning  behold  him  arrived  at  the  wharf, 
With  a  carriage  in  waiting,  in  haste  to  be  off' 
To  the  villa  suburban  that  looks  o'er  the  deep, 
Where  his  night  trip  enhances  the  blessings  of 
sleep. 

The  season  advances  ;  the  church  on  the  hill, 
Shut  up  for  the  winter,  once  more  gets  its  fill 
Of  sinners  in  satin,  who  flock  to  declare 
Their  creed  differs  much  from  the  clothing  they 

wear ; 

For  while   they  renounce   all   pomp   and  vain 
ly, 

Their  milliner's  bill  tells  a  far  different  story. 
Still  the  singing  is  perfect,  the  music  divine, 
Though  some  deem  the  Catholic  better  in  time; 
But  when  the  dear  pastor  the  pulpit  ascends, 


FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT.        19 

His  manner  so  winning-,  all  caviling  ends, 
And  'tis  really  delightful,  when  asked  out  to  dine, 
To  feel  that  his  blessing  has  prefaced  the  wine. 
The  Atlantic  is  open,  the  Ocean  House  too, 
And  Cozzens  buys  stock  of  the  tasteful  and  new 
For  Dives,  who  conies  bringing  servants  and  all, 
With  daughters  to  flourish  at  party  or  ball, 
While  old    Newport  puts  forth  her  best  foot  to 

receive 
The  guests  whom   she  welcomes  for  what  they 

may  leave. 

Fitz  Poodle  had  rested  and  got  out  his  clothes, 
And  tried  the  last  wash  for  his  ruby-red    nose, 
When  Redower  arrived  to  open  the  ball  ; 
So  they  ordered  the  horses  at  Aram's  to  call. 
They  found   the    dear   creatures  at  home  when 

they  came, 

For  Fan  was  Redower's  particular  flame ; 
While   as   to    Fitz  Poodle,  they  both  knew  full 

well, 
He  was  reckoned  a  catch,  as  their  father  could 

tell; 

For  Aram  was  anxious  to  get  his  girls  married, 
A  hope  that  too  often  had  sadly  miscarried, 
For  Carlotta  was  thirty,  and  Fannie  had  been 
Twenty-one  to  a  day  since  the  year    she    grew 

thin. 

The  damsels  were  dressed  to  suit  the  occasion, 
In  toilet  so  rich,  we  forbear  the  relation  ; 
For  both  were  investments  on  sale  for  the  season, 


20  FITZ   POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 

With  trappings  thrown  in  for  an  excellent 
reason, — 

Accomplishments  too ;  but  'twould  lengthen  our 
verse, 

If  the  list  of  their  extras  we  here  should  re 
hearse. 

Suffice  it  to  say  they  both  simpered  and  smiled, 

While  our  gay  cavaliers  a  brief  hour  beguiled 

With  small  talk  and  flattery,  gross  and  dis 
tasteful, 

For  of  that  which  costs  nothing  we're  apt  to 
be  wasteful. 

And   now,  lest    the    reader  find  cause  for  com 
plaint, 
We'll  pencil  a  sketch,  which,  though  feeble  and 

faint, 
May  serve  to  present  these  young  ladies   more 

fully, 

Though  Fitz  Poodle  declares  they  are  "  per 
fectly  bully  "  - 

A  slangy  expression  we  cannot  indorse, 
For  we've  heard  the  same    title    prefixed    to    a 

horse. 

Carlotta  was  dark,  and  quite  Spanish  in  style, 
With  a  good  set  of  teeth  and  perpetual  smile, 
While  Fannie,  the  younger,  was  shrewish  and 

thin, 

With  nose  retrousse  and  a  long  pointed  chin. 
'Tis  said  in  affinities  opposites  meet,  — 
In  which  case  a  row  is  a  positive  treat, — 


FITZ   POODLE  AT  NEWPORT.  21 

That  differing'  souls  love  each  other  the  best, 
And  only  the  jarring  by  Hymen  are  blest. 
Be  this  as  it  may,  Gus  and  Fan  seem  united, 
While  Fitz  with  Carlotta  is  greatly  delighted. 
In  short,  he  was  smitten,  poor  sensitive  youth, 
No  novel  event,  if  we  publish  the  truth, 
For  our  hero  was  spoony ;  yet  butterfly  bred, 
He  would  sip  of  each  flower  that  grew  on  the 

bed  ; 

Yet  of  woman's  devotion,  her  love,  and  her  trust, 
He   knew    scarcely   more   than    a  worm  of  the 

dust; 
For  his  soul  was  a  cistern  a   dew-drop    might 

fill, 
And  his  heart  in  himself  had  its  tenant  at  will. 

'Twas  proposed  and  agreed  that  the  party  should 

reach 

At  ten  on  the  morrow  the  brown  bathing  beach, 
Where,  with  marvellous  costume,  and  bluey-white 

lip, 

The  children  of  fashion  go  down  for  their  dip. 
Fitz  Poodle  and  Gus  would  have  shortened  the 

time, 

Discussing  the  theme  as  they  sat  o'er  their  wine, 
But  the  hours   go   round    in   the   old-fashioned 

way, 

And  heed  no  petition  for  haste  or  delay. 
Yet  the  morn  came  at  last,  and  the  equipage  too, 
The  ladies  in  white  and  the  servants  in  blue; 
And  great  was  the  flutter  amid  the  gay  throng, 


22  FITZ  POODLE   AT   NEWPORT. 

When  close  to  the  billows  the  carriage  was  borne, 
With  a  glitter  of  panels  and  swift-flashing  wheels, 
While  Fitz  Poodle  full  many  a  tender  glance 

steals, 

And  makes  an  engagement  for  croquet  and  tea 
With  charming  Carlotta,  his  dark  vis-a-vis. 

The  tickets  are  purchased,  and  houses  obtained 
In  the  height  of  the  season  not  easily  gained ; 
So  straight  to  their  shelter  the  party  repair 
To  shed  all  their  clothing  and  part  of  their  hair ; 
For  when  to  the  beach  Beauty  goes  on  a  train, 
She  must  part  with  her  locks  ere  she  trusts  to 

the  main. 

'Tis  well  that  poor  Love  is  proverbially  blind, 
For  'twixt  the  rude  sea  and  the  blustering  wind, 
Pale  Beauty,  disheveled  and  stripped />f  each  art, 
Is  surely  no  sight  for  a  sensitive  heart  ; 
As  witness  the  show  from  morning  till  noon 
Of  belles  reft  of  chignon,  of  panier,  and  bloom. 
Reduced  to  the  limits  by  Nature  provided, 
Not  always  becoming  the  thin  and  slab-sided. 

But  now,  from  their  boxes  emerging,  we  see 
Our  party  all  ready  equipped  for  the  sea. 
Good    heavens !     Can    these    be   the   queens   of 

croquet, 

Or  those  the  spruce  beaux  of  bewitching  Broad 
way  ? 

The  ladies  are  robed  in  flame-colored  red, 
Quite  paling  the  fires  of  Poodle's  soft  head, 


FITZ   POODLE   AT   NEWPORT.  23 

With  a  trimming   of  braid,  three  rows   on  the 

skirt, 

And  trousers  to  match,  lik^e  a  Bloomerite  flirt ; 
But  our  hero's  thin  legs  in  a  blue  flanel  case, 
Resemble  a  monkey's  got  up  for  a  race, 
Or  a  skeleton  form  from  a  medical  school, 
While  Gus  plays  the  clown    like  a  natural  fool. 
The  footmen  both  snicker,  the  coachman  looks 

grim, 

But  relaxes  a  little  as  Poodle  goes  in. 
With  a  run,  and  a  skip,  and  a  faint  little  scream, 
In    a  few    moments    more  'mid  the  crowd  they 

are  seen, 
Who  go  bobbing  like  corks  on  the  crest  of  the 

sea, 
Or  duck  when  the  incoming  breaker  swings  free. 

What    wonder   we   laugh   as   we    stand    on   the 

shore  ! 

Yon  doctored  divine  might  inspire  our  awe, 
But  now,  in  old  breeches  and  battered  sea-hat, 
You  can  only  remark  his  exuberant  fat, 
As,  like  an  old  porpoise,  he  awkwardly  blows 
(We    are    sketching   from    fancy)     his    bibulous 

nose. 

How  they  danced,  how  they  shouted,  and  tum 
bled  about, 

Were  long  to  relate,  but  at  length  they  came 
out; 

The  ladies  cerulean,  but  not  in  their  clothes, 


24  FITZ  POODLE   AT   NEWPORT. 

And  Fitz  P.  with  a  chill  from  his  head  to  his 

toes. 

Then  swift  to  their  houses  they  speedily  fly ; 
Let  us  hope  that  no  curious  cynic  is  nigh, 
To  scan  the  fair  creatures  with  critical  eye. 

At   length   from   their   closets   once   more  they 

emerge  : 

Can  these  be  the  figures  we  saw  in  the  surge? 
Has  Fannie  grown  fat,  and  Carlotta  found  bloom, 
Though  ghastly  before  as  a  ghost  from  the  tomb? 
Now  into  the  carriage  and  back  to  the  hill 
Ere  the  white  flag  go  down,  and  the  men  take 

their  fill 

Of  breasting  the  ocean  in  Nature's  own  dress ; 
A   garb    that   the   poor   might   have   reason   to 

bless, 
Were  the  climate  more  mild,  or  the   audience 

less, 
Btit    gone    out   of    fashion    since    Eve   took    to 

working, 
A«d  sewed  up  her  fig-leaves  by  way  of  a  curtain. 

The  season  has  crept  to  the  hot  August  days, 
When  the  landscape  lies  soft  'neath  the  silvery 

haze, 

And  o'er  the  blue  billows  the  gray  vapors  creep 
On  the  wings  of  the  breeze  from  the  wastes  of 

the  deep. 
What    wonder    old   Newport    attracts    the    gay 

throng ! 


FITZ   POODLE   AT   NEWPORT.  25 

What  wonder  the  weary  ones  ardently  long1 
To  escape  the  gay  city's  sirocco  and  heat, 
The  turmoil  of  business,  the  crowd  of  the  street, 
The  jar  of  its  bustle,  the  strife  of  its  ways, 
Its   long,  sultry    nights,  and   its    thrice  fervent 

days, 

To  find  by  our  bright  waves  the  dolce-far-niente, 
And  a  place  to  deplete  if  your  cash  be  too  plenty. 

To   return  to  our  mutton — the    Frenchman   is 

right, 

'Tis  a  phrase  for  our  hero  close-fitting  and  tight ; 
A  poor  silly  sheep  to  be  speedily  shorn, 
Though  few  for  his  shearing  may  honestly  mourn. 
But  a  truce  to  this  trifling;  so  lest  we  should 

tire, 

We  beg  to  present  Mrs.  Snobby  Pariah  — 
A  lady  substantial  in  person  and  dollars, 
Though   perhaps  not  the    best   of  grammatical 

scholars. 

As  a  crusty  old  fellow  was  heard  to  remark 
(There's  somebody  always  to  snap  and  to  bark), 
He'd  venture  the  thought,  though  hastily  thrown, 
"  She  spoke  every  language  excepting  her  own." 
But  an  ample  excuse,  we  know,  will  be  voted, 
When  Mrs.  Pariah's  beginnings  are  quoted. 
A  chimney-sweep's  daughter,  in  factory  life 
She   worked   as   a   maid,  ere  they  made   her  a 

wife  ; 

And  'tis  said  when  Pariah  popped  out  his  pro 
posal, 


26  FITZ   POODLE  AT   NEWPORT. 

Putting  himself  at  her  instant  disposal, 

She  took  twenty-four  hours  the  case  to  decide 

'Twixt  the  dressmaker's  trade  and  the  wreath  of 

a  bride. 

It  seems  her  decision  turned  out  for  the  best, 
For  Pariah  waxed  rich,  and  good  luck  did  the 

rest, 

While  Mrs.  Pariah,  in  fashion's  gay  crowd, 
Sailed  a  frigate,  saluting  in  style  rather  loud, 
With  colors,  and  streamers,  and  other  gay  things. 
Not  to  mention  a  hat  with  a  garnish  of  wings. 
But  a  dash  of  the  factory  hangs  round  her  still, 
A  flavor  e'en  cash  cannot  banish  at  will,- 
As  fawned  on,  and  flattered,  and  flurried  along, 
The  pleasant  amusement  and  jest  of  the  throng, 
She  shakes  out  her  feathers,  and  turns  up  her 

nose, 
Like    a    pig  when    the   wind   of  the    hurricane 

blows  ; 

Ah !  little  she  thinks,  as  she  gives  herself  airs, 
That   the  low  "  common  people,"  at  whom  she 

thus    stares, 

Have  a  way  of  remembering  things  of  the  past, 
And    this  sort  of  style  makes  it  likely  to  last. 

Now  Mrs.  Pariah  —  old  P.  was  just  nothing, 
Save  a  bank  and  a  butt  for  continual  bluffing  — 
Determined  to  give,  perhaps  for  that  reason, 
A  fete  to  eclipse  every  ball  of  the  season. 
The  cards  were  all  out,  and  Fitz  Poodle  invited  ; 
Of    the     Arams    and     Redower     neither    were 
slighted. 


FITZ   POODLE   AT   NEWPORT.  29 

The  thing  proved  successful ;  Pariah  displayed 
A  grace  that  quite  rivaled  her  favorite  maid ; 
Though  the  coachman  declared,  "  Our  old  woman 

was  looking 
As  red  round  the  gills  as  if  she'd  been  cooking." 

But  'tis  not  with  Pariah  our  Muse  has  to  do  ; 
We   have    chosen    a    hero,  and   hope    to    prove 

true; 

So  leave  to  your  fancy  each  full  matinee, 
The  concerts  hy  night  and  the  boating  by   day, 
The  music  and  dust  of  the  drive  to  the  Fort, 
With  other  diversions,  for  cash   to  be  bought, 
To  all  their  gay  doings    persistently  dumb, 
Though  the  fete  of  Pariah  die  sad  and  unsung. 

In  a  spot  well  defended  in  flank  and  in  rear, 
Where  the  coyest  of  maids  could  have  nothing 

to  fear, 

And  a  lover  might  "  pop,"  if  he  felt  so  inclined, 
Nor  dread  some  impertinent  puppy  behind, 
There,  there  in  that  bower,  with  blossoms  agleam, 
Like  Love  'mid  the  roses,  Fitz  Poodle  was  seen  ; 
Nor    alone  did  he   sit,  but  close  pressed  to  his 

side 

Sat  Carlotta,  his  promised  and  possible  bride; 
For  the  girl  was  no  fool,  and  had  tickled  his 

brain, 

No  difficult  task  when  'tis  shallow  and  vain, 
And  stirred  the  small  heart  that  just    matched 

with  his  head, 


30  FITZ   POODLE   AT  NEWPORT. 

Till  the  fellow  forgot  that  its   color  was  red. 
In  short,  he  was  led  like  a  pup  by  his  chain  ; 
She  was  training   her    Poodle  with    might    and 

with  main, 

To  fetch  and  to  carry,  and  even  to  beg, 
Though,  unlike    Columbus,  'twas    not    her  first 

egg- 

She  had  practiced  before  in  more  difficult  cases, 
And  laid  in  a  stock  of  emotion   and  graces  — 
Could  weep  in  a  hurry,  or  get  up  a  fit ; 
We  hope  that  the  biter   may  never  be  bit. 

For  a  while  let  us  wander  away  from  the  pair 
To  Redower  and  Fan,  who  are  taking  the  air 
Where  a  nice  little  terrace  looks  over  the  sea, 
In  a  place  made  for  two,  but  too  little  for  three. 
He  stoops,  and  she  listens  with  eyelids  down 
cast  ; 

The  look  on  her  face  would  be  pleasant  to  last, 
A  something  that  lights  it,  as  if  from  within  — 
Love's  own  magic  lantern,  when  not  made  of  tin. 
His  words  are  quite  broken,  but  still  we  may 

guess 

The  depth  of  devotion  he  seeks  to  express. 
There's    a    language    full    common,  and    old  as 

the  world, 

Comprehended  wherever  a  flag  is  unfurled ; 
There's  no  mountain  so  high,  no  valley  so  deep, 
Where   that   tongue  may  not  move  ns  to  smile 

or  to  weep. 
'Tis  the  language  unspoken  of  lips  and  of  eyes, 


FITZ  POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  31 

The  first  one  e'er  born,  and  the   last  one    that 

dies  ; 

The  story  of  Eden,  that  never  grows  old, 
Yet  yields  nothing  new,  though  a  thousand  times 

told. 

'Twill  be  seen  that   our    party    have    somewhat 

progressed 
Since  we  saw  them  afloat  on  old  Ocean's    rude 

breast, 

Or  rather  adrift,  with  a  wave  for  a  pillow, 
And  a  cool  bathing-tub   in   the   trough    of  the 

billow; 
But    boating,    and    driving,    and    walks    on    the 

cliff, 

Not  to  mention  their  daily  matutinal  dip, 
Had  brought  the  affair  to  this  fortunate   close, 
Notwithstanding  poor  Poodle's  exuberant  nose ; 
But  Carlotta  had  scruples,  in  spite  of  papa, 
Not    to   speak    of    the    lectures    received   from 

mu  mm  a, 

Ere  she  yielded  her  charms  to  even  a  catch, 
Though    all    deemed    Fitz    Poodle   an  excellent 

match. 
Still,  in    spite  of  her    fondness   for   horses  and 

dash, 

He  gained  his  fair  charmer  at  last  by  a  smash  — 
A  regular  breakdown — unknown  e'en  to  Fan, 
Whose  principal  agent  of  course  was  a  man  ; 
A  Count,  with  a  ribbon  and  arrogant  air, 
From  Turkey,  or  Texas,  or  Tophet  knows  where, 


32  FITZ   POODLE  AT   NEWPORT. 

With  snaky  black  eyes  and  a  twisted  moustache, 
Whose   debts   were  apparent,  more  so  than  his 

cash, 

Who  fished  for  Carlotta,  and  baited  his  hook  — 
For   to    do   the   Count  justice  he  talked  like  a 

book  — 
With    romance    and    flattery,  commingled   with 

tales 
Of  hardships  and  exile,  of  battles  and  gales. 


So  Carlotta  was  won,  the  elopement  all  planned, 
But  the  Count   came   in    haste  his  ring  to  de 
mand, 

When  at  the  last  moment  he  suddenly  found 
His   hopes   of    her  fortune   all   dashed    to    the 

ground : 

For  old  Aram  had  been  a  lame  duck  in  his  day, 
And  living  on  credit  don't  generally  pay. 


FITZ  POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  33 

Meanwhile   poor  Carlotta  had  given  her  heart ; 
Though  artful  and  tricky,  the  tear-drops  would 

start, 
When    she    thought  of  the  man  —  a  barber  at 

home  — 
With  whom  she  was  willing  the  wide  world  to> 

roam. 

'Tis  pity  some  pedagogue,  versed  in  rattan, 
Could  not  give  a  hint  to  that  no-a-Count  man, 
For  a  fellow  who  chatters  and  swindles  by  rule, 
Should  learn  of  the  rod  in  Severity's  school. 

Thus  Poodle  was  blessed  through  his  barber-ons 

rival, 
At   least    when    she    found    him    beginning   to 

trifle, 

For  a  maid  disappointed  is  willing  to  choose 
Where    before    she    determined    to    flout    and 

refuse ; 

But  alas  for  the  swain  who  a  vacuum  fills, 
As  a  possible  cure  for  positive  ills  ! 

So  the  ladies  were  wooed,  not  "  married  and  a'," 
For  as  yet  the  affair  was  unknown  to  papa— 
Not   Aram    indeed,  who  would    ne'er    have   ob 
jected, 

But  one  with  whom  Fitz  was  more  closely  con 
nected,  — 
For  James  Peter  was  absent,  with  men  of  the 

ring, 
To  get  up  a  corner,  and  make  a  sure  thing; 


34  F1TZ   POODLE   AT  NEWPORT. 

'Tvvas  true  a  few  thousands  would  lose,  but  who 

cares  ? 
What  are  Poverty's  groans  to  the  bulls  and  the 

bears  ? 
So    he'd   gone  with   his   friends   to   manipulate 

gold, 

And  smash  the  poor  sinners  left  out  in  the  cold. 
For  'twas  thought  if  the  Government  cash  was 

controlled, 
'Twould    pay  for   the    keen    ones   to  buy  it  and 

hold 

Till  it  rose  to  the  tune  of  a  hundred  per  cent., 
When  the  bulls  would  unload  at  the  top  of  their 

bent, 
While  the  market  was  stocked  at  their  sovereign 

pleasure, 

Or  kept  short  of  funds  in  Custom  House  treas 
ure  ; 
But  to  do  the  thing  well,  there  were  wires   to 

pull, 

A  Bear  to  be  trained,  and  likewise  a  Bull, — 
An  uncertain  menagerie  e'en  at  the  best, 
The  curse  of  our  country,  a  national  pest ; 
Moreover,  'twould  help  if   the  President's  fame 
Could   be    tarnished    awhile    by    the  use  of  his 

name, 
And  a  certain  great  dealer    in    steamboats    and 

stocks 

Tie  up  all  the  gold  by  that  safest  of  locks,  — 
The  promise  that  Grant  should  not  hammer  the 

ring 


FITZ  POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  35 

When    the  traps  were   all   baited    and  ready  to 

spring. 
But  our  Muse  may  not  dwell  on    the    pumping 

and  sounding  ; 
Let   the    rogues    lay  their  plans,  and  Grant  do 

the  pounding. 

So  back  to  our  lovers  we  go  with  a  fling, 
And  farewell  awhile  to  the  men  of  the  ring. 

Their  courting  went  on  in  the  old  fashioned  way, 
With  dancing  by  night,  and  coquetting  by  day ; 
'Tis  strange,  while  in  most  things  the  world  is 

progressing, 

No  new  patent's  out  in  the  way  of  caressing; 
For  on  Adam  and  Eve  we  may  hardly  improve ; 
'Tis    the    old    story  still,  though   the   centuries 

move  ; 
So   for    little   endearments,  and   sweet   honeyed 

words, 
With  billings  and  cooings,  —  we  quote  from  the 

birds,  — 

We  leave  them  to  fancy,  no  mighty  exertion, 
When  most  people  take  to  this  kind  of  diversion. 

'Mid    other    amusements    'twas     planned     they 

should  go 
For   a   trip    to    the   Lime   Rocks,   and   possible 

row  — 
Should    Miss    Ida    prove    gracious,    and   winds 

gently  blow  — 
In  the  Rescue,  a  boat  by  that  heroine  won, 


36  FITZ  POODLE   AT  NEWPORT. 

As  a  sort  of  reminder  of  what  she  had  done, 
For    saving1   twelve    lives — though   one   was    a 

fleece, — 

Pulling  them  out  at  a  hundred  apiece. 
We  don't  mean  to  say  that  she  did  it  for  gain, 
But  this  being  written,  'tis  well  to  explain, — 
That  folks  came   by  thou.  ands  to  question    and 

stare, 

To  fill  the  small  parlor,  and  even  the  stair, 
And  beset    the  poor  girl  by  night  and  by  day  ; 
Till,  weary  and  sick,  she  was  going  away, 
And  then  gave  a  pitiful  thousand  in  all, 
To  pay  her  for  working    through    summer   and 

fall; 

For  the  life-saving  business   proved  easier  far, 
Than  playing  the  public's  particular  star. 

The  day  was  well  chosen,  the  breezes  in  tune, 
And    the    ladies   looked   sweet    as   the  roses  of 

June ; 
So  lest  their   arrangements  with   others    might 

clash, 

Fitz  Poodle  had  hired  a  boat  of  old  Ash, 
A  captain  renowned  in  the  little  craft  way, 
For  sailing  "  Ye  Maidens  "  o'er  billow  and  bay. 
Then  quick  to  the  landing,  in  haste  to  embark, 
Our  party  all  drove,  in  the  mood  for  a  lark; 
For  though    timid    on  water,  the    girls    seldom 

fail 

With  laughter  and  shout  to  get  into  a  gale. 
There  were  bundles  and  baskets  of   grub  to  be 

shipped, 


FITZ   POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  37 

There  were  shrieks  if  the  sail-boat  was  suddenly 
tipped, 

With  just  the  least  blushing  when  called  to  dis 
close 

Of  a  neat-fitting-  gaiter  much  more  than  the 
toes  ; 

For  their  ankles  were  good,  though  their  figures 
were  bad, — 

A  promise  unfilled  that's  decidedly  sad ; 

For  'tis  Nature's  own  outward  and  visible  sign, 

The  show-window  card,  if  the  form  be  divine ; 

For  even  the  hand  may  be  judged  by  the  foot ; 

If  the  gauntlet  be  little,  why  so  is  the  boot. 

But  enough  of  aesthetics ;  while  the  gay  party 
start, 

We'll  bring  to  a  period  our  lecture  on  art. 

At  length  they  are  off,  with  a  cheer  and  a  shout, 
And  a  waving  of  kerchiefs  that  fluttered  about ; 
With  the  wind  right  abaft  to  the  Lime  Rocks 

they  ran, 

But  still  kept  their  course  as  suggested  by  Fan, 
Intending  to  coast  by  Conanicut's  shore, 
And,  unless  the  young  ladies  should  deem  it  a 

bore, 

To  visit  old  Beaver  Tail  Light,  and  then  stop 
On  their  way  back  to  town  at  Miss  Ida's  small 

dock. 

How  the  visit  was  made,  how  Fitz  acted  silly, 
How  Fannie  turned  sick,  and  Carlotta  felt  chilly, 
How  Redower's  legs  got  entwined  in  a  rope 


38  FITZ   POODLE   AT   NEWPORT. 

That    almost    extinguished    the   German's    best 

hope, 

We  doubt  not  were  written  by  Ash  in  his  log ; 
But    this   much  we  know,  they  were  caught  in 

a  fog, 

With  a  thin  driving  mist  and  a  spatter  of  rain, 
A  fact  by  the  Arams  remembered  with  pain ; 
For    bonnets    cost    money,  and  when    short    of 

cash, 
To  boat  in  your  best  is  decidedly  rash. 

Now  on  their  return  'twas  discussed  and  ap 
proved, 

And  a  vote  of  the  house  was  accordingly  moved, 

That  on  the  next  night,  at  the  Ocean  House 
hop, 

All   parties  should  meet  at  the  party  to  stop, 

Till  each  took  a  turn,  and  perhaps  a  turnover, 

In  which  case  an  action  would  soon  lie  for 
trover, 

In  that  maze  so  divine  of  twisting  and  squirm 
ing,  — 

A  giddy  go  round  if  the  pupil  be  learning. 

But  the  heads  of  our  lovers,  though  silly  and 
weak, 

W'ould  have  scorned  to  complain,  though  they 
danced  for  a  week  ; 

Though  stupid  enough  where  the  brain  had  a 
hand  in, 

"At  least  in  their  legs  they'd  a  strong  under 
standing." 


FITZ   POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  39 

At  ten  of  the  clock,  on  the  evening  appointed, 
Our  beaux,  by  their  barbers  all  newly  anointed, 
Drove  up  to  the  Ocean  House  steps  with  a 

whirl, 

Each  fully  content  with  his  favorite  girl. 
The  Arams  caused  quite  a  sensation  that  night, 
Though    the    ladies    declared    them    a   horrible 

fright ; 

For  Carlotta  was  robed  in  ruby  red  silk, 
And  Fannie  in  satin  the  color  of  milk  ; 
Their  get-up  was  stunning;  e'en  Mrs.  Pariah, 
Whose  head  wore  a  helmet  suggestive  of  fire, 
Confessed  herself  vanquished  when    Fannie   ap 
peared 
With  Augustus  Redower,  all  neck-tie  and  beard. 

'Twas  a  scene  for  a  painter,  at  least  a  reporter, 
Or  one  not  too  chary  of  sister  or  daughter, 
To  view  the    girls    languish,  and    see   the  men 

squeeze, 
While  brothers  and   fathers  looked  on  at  their 

ease ; 

But   alas  for  the   husband   by  jealousy  damned, 
Watching  his  wife  by  each  roue  eye  scanned, 
While    her    points   and  her  paces  are  fully  dis 
cussed, 

And  not  even  her  character   suffered  to  rust. 
God  help  the  world  !  if  mothers  and  wives 
Are  to  waste  in  such  follies  the  morn  of  their 

lives, 
While  duties  neglected  cry  loudly  at  home, 


40  -  FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPOKT. 

And    the    babe    in    its    cradle    makes   sorrowful 

moan . 

Yet  steadily  sweeping  the  fashion  tide  still 
Flows   through    the    long    hall  with   its  tremu 
lous  thrill, 
Till  the  night  air    grows   heavy  and  faint  with 

perfume, 

And  the  dancers  seem  flowers  of  tropical  bloom, 
With  diamonds  like  dew-drops  to  hang  on  each 

belle,  — 

Not  all  of  them  paid  for,  as  jewelers   tell. 
And  the  waltz  !   0,  that  wonderful  waltz  !  where 

the  heels 

Of  thrice  active  Redower  made  magical  reels, 
Till  a  boarder  declared  —  the  impudent  lubber  — 
His    legs    were    a   compound    of   breeches    and 

rubber ; 
While  Carlotta,  with  dark  flowing  hair,  went  the 

pace, 
With   soft   sliding   step,  and    each   languishing 

grace, 
Though  her  eyes  caught  full  many  an  amorous 

glance, 
As  sustained  by  Fitz  Poodle,  she  swept  through 

the  dance ; 

And  Fannie,  who  feels  she  is  looking   her  best 
In  the  arms  of  Redower  seems   perfectly  blest. 

Of  Bullion  the  banker,  with  velvet  and  squint, 
The  satirical  pen  might  flow  without  stint,  — 
Whose  horses  and  flunkies,  bright  buttons  and 
bays, 


FiTZ   POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  41 

Quite  rival  the  circus  in  various  ways ; 

For  the  clown  seldom  rides  with  his  roystering 

crew, 
While   in    Bullion's   big  wag-on    he's  always  on 

view. 

'Tis  quite  a  sensation  to  see  them  dash  by, 
Though  some  view  the  turn-out  with  critical  eye. 
At  the  footmen,  at  least,  no  cynic  should  frown, 
As,  with  buttons  beplastered,  and  coat-tails  hung 

down, 

Their  livery  aids  to  prevent  the  mistake, 
More  frequent  than  pleasant,  of  those  who  might 

take 

The  man  for  the  master,  and  thus  spoil  the  plan 
Of  the  party  who  ride  in  this  small  caravan. 
'Tis  said  that  the  dash  is  all  on  the  street, 
That  the  servants  complain  there  is  little  to  eat, 
That  the  cook  finds  her  reckoning  kept  to  a  dot, 
And  woe  to  the  clerk  who  a  ledger  should  blot. 
But  enough    of    our    Bullion ;    we    cherish   the 

name, 

And  expect  to  subscribe  to  his  posthumous  fame, 
By  placing  a  statue,  perhaps  in  the  Park, 
At  which  no  impertinent  puppy  may  bark, 
(Near    the    one   by  our   princely    Belmont  just 

erected, 

In  which,  like  its  donor,  no   flaw  is  detected,) 
Whose  brass  so  enduring,  or  gray  island  stone, 
For  slights  of  the  past  should  amply  atone  ; 
And  while  we'd    not   dictate,  or   seem   to  com 
mand, 


42  FITZ   POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 

We'd  suggest  to  the  artist,  a  wide  open  hand ; 

But  whether  extended  to  give  or  receive, 

To  those  who  best  know  him  we  willingly  leave. 

An  inscription  might  follow,  both  plain  and 
terse, 

If  fifty  per  cent,  could  be  woven  in  verse. 

Yet  the  lines  we  annex  might  be  made  to  suf 
fice, 

Though  unworthy  the  theme  they  are  truthfully 
nice  : 

IN  MEMORIAM. 

Here  lies — how  appropriate — Bullion  the  banker, 
For  whom  all  who  miss  him  persistently  hanker ; 
So  devoted  a  husband,  so  tender,  so  true, 
In  an  infidel  age  wras  refreshing  to  view  ; 
As  a  master  unrivaled,  forbearing,  and  kind, 
To  his   debts   ever   prompt,  to   his  dues  almost 

blind  ; 

This  marble,  put  up  by  his  friends  of  the  street, 
Bears  witness  his  spirit  was  gracious  and  sweet ; 
Enough  —  be  it  written  in  letters  de  oro, 
"Hie  jacet  vir  nulla  non  donandus    lauro." 

Thus  much  of  description  —  and  less  might  have 

done, 
But   'tis   hard    to    leave   off  when    once    you've 

begun  — 

Is  meant  as  a  preface,  though  not  very  brief, 
To  a  new  episode  of  our  ;  ubject  in  chief. 


FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT.  43 

Mrs.  B.  gave  a  party  quite  striking  and  new, 
To  flutter  each  fop  on  the  long  avenue  ; 
For  tableaux  vivants  were  the  principal  treat, 
Where  the  faces  make  up  for   the    absence    of 

feet. 

We  don't  mean  the  feet  that  bipeds  must  walk  in, 
But    the    feat    that's    involved    in    ranting    and 

talking ; 

A  very  bad  jest,  and  as  badly  expressed  ; 
We  refer  you  to  Miller  (not  Hugh)  for  the  rest. 
To  this  party  exclusive  our  friends  were  invited, 
With  the  Count,  and  some  Englishman  recently 

knighted, 

With  other  bright  stars  of  the  upper-ten  world, 
That   realm    recherche,   all    beflounced    and    be- 

curled. 

So  our  lovers  decided,  blow  high  or  blow  low, 
To  the  Bullions'  grand  party  they'd  certainly  go. 
Moreover,  Carlotta  and  Fitz  were  to  take 
A  part  in  the  tableau  intended  to  make 
The  sensation  par  excellence,  high  and  supreme ; 
Let   us    hope   the  denouement   may  realize  their 

dream. 

The  picture  referred  to  involved  a  live  goose, 
Whose  uproar  saved  Rome  from  fagot  and  noose ; 
For  such  were  the  horrors,  and  worse,  of  a  sack, 
When  the  enemy  crept  to  their  midnight  attack. 
For  the   fowl    caught   a   glimpse  of  some  form 

that  looked  ill, 

Then  cackled  so  loudly,  the  guard  on  the  hill, 
Aroused  by  the  clamor,  sprang  quick  to  his  feet, 


44        1TTZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 

And  forced  the  armed  foe  to  a  speedy  retreat ; 
Though   the   story  be   new  to   boys   fresh   from 

college, 
'Tis    a    trite    one    to     graybeards    in    classical 

knowledge. 

For  further  particulars,  apply  to  Liddel, 
Who  to  honor  the  goose  which  once  cackled  so 

well, 
Spins  a  yarn  rather  tough,  and   quite    hard    to 

believe, 

Of  some  soldiers  so  pious  they  saw  fit  to  leave 
To  a  goddess,  one  Juno,  by  way  of  a  treat, 
A  fine  flock  of  fowls,  though  they'd  nothing  to 

eat. 

Yet  we  fancy  no  priest  of  her  temple  grew  thin, 
Though  to  dine  off  of  goose  were  a  capital  sin. 
So  the  scene  was  selected,  but  only  the  goose 
Was  permitted  his  voluble  tongue  to  let  loose, 
While  the  rest  of   the  figures  stood    speechless 

and  dumb, 

For  the  better  inspection  of  all  who  might  come ; 
With     a    background    of    sentries    alarmed    or 

asleep, 

Where  a  maiden  and  matron  should  silently  weep, 
Parts  left  to  Carlotta,  and  Mrs.  Aram ; 
While  Fitz  Poodle  played  goose  as  instructed  by 

Fan. 
How    he    practiced    and    cackled    until    he  was 

hoarse, 

And  studied  from  nature,  are  matters  of  course, 
With  an  old  speckled  bird  exciting  his  dander, 


FITZ  POODLE   AT  NEWPORT.  45 

Till  he  fairly  wore  out  the  unfortunate  gander, 
Not  to  mention  a  mask  like  a  huge  feather  bed, 
With  a  yellowish  bill,  and  a  long  goosey  head. 

The  evening  came  round,  and  the  audience  too ; 
Carlotta  wears  tunic  of  wonderful  hue, 
In  longitude  scant,  like  the  "  Ledger's  "  last  text, 
"  The  rest  of  this  tail  will  be  found  in  our  next." 
While    the    Count    as  her  backer,  with  buckler 

and  bill, 
Stood  for  Manlius  roused  from  his  sleep  on  the 

hill. 

But  the  goose  after  all  was  the  star  of  the  night, 
Till,  sad  to  relate,  to  our  hero's  great  fright, 
His  false  head  fell  off,  and  his  real  one  appeared, 
With  the   faint   English  whiskers   by  way  of  a 

beard  ; 
While   between,  like  a  lantern  that  hangs  in  a 

bush, 
You  could  see  his  eyes  peep,  and  his  ruby  nose 

blush. 

The  curtain  fell  quick,  mid  a  burst  of  applause ; 
But  alas  for  Fitz  Poodle,  the  innocent  cause, 
Who,  while    cursing  his  stars,  and  unfortunate 

luck, 

Was  christened  anew,  the  Bed-headed  Duck. 
So  ended  the  farce,  and  Carlotta  retired, 
An  event  by  our  hero  extremely  desired  ; 
For   to  wait   as    a  butt  when  you    came  butt  to 

shoot, 
Is  insult  and  injury  added  to  boot. 


46  FITZ   POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 

Our  story  has  lingered  too  long-  by  the  way ; 
We  haste  to  conclude  without  further  delay : 
An  elopement  was  planned  the  world  to  deceive, 
Not  that  Aram  papa  would  exceedingly  grieve; 
But    as    Poodle    James  P.  was  just  then  Major 

Ursa, 

The  job  was  confided  in  quiet  to  Ourser  ; 
No  flourish  of  trumpets  or  flourish 'of  tongues, 
No  bills  for  trousseau  to  bring  about  duns  ; 
But  a  quiet  affair,  with  a  witness  to  prove 
They  stood    for    each  other,  —  their  promise  to 

love. 

So  the  bargain  was  made,  and  the  articles  sold, 
Depending,  alas,  on  a  corner  in  gold, 
Though  of  this  the  young  ladies  are  yet  to  be 

told; 

But  both  of  them  promise  to  take  and  to  keep, 
While  Fannie  alone  looks  ready  to  weep  ; 
For   Carlotta   seems   iced,   with    a   curl  on  her 

lip- 
She  had  talked  with  the  Count  ere  she  ventured 

the  trip. 
But    now    before     Heaven,    "  in    sickness    and 

health," 

'Neath  poverty's  frown,  or  the  fullness  of  wealth, 
"  Till  death  them  do  part,"    she  vows   she  will 

cling, 
To   what    she  well    knows    is    a   poor  brainless 

thing. 
Will  her  heart  keep  the  vow  that  her  lips  doth 

record  ? 


FITZ   POODLE   AT   NEWPORT.  47 

Will   the    spirit    find    rest    that    so  lately  hath 

warred  ? 

Ask  not  of  the  future  its  secrets  to  tell  — 
But    hark    to    the  sound   of   the  steamer's  last 

bell. 

They    are  off,  but    their   fancies    take   different 

ways  : 

While  the  Poodles  go  North,  on  Niagara  to  gaze, 
Augustus  considers  the  air  of  "  The  Hub," 
Not  to  mention  his  father  —  ah,  there  comes  the 

rub,  — 

Might  require  his  presence  at  least  to  disclose 
The  match  as  yet  secret,  and  under  the  rose. 
And  now  ere  we  drop  them  for  aye  from  our 

story, 
We'll  sum  them   up   briefly   like   "old   Mother 

Morey." 

His  father  declined  the   pair  to  support, 
And  even   Redower's  allowance   cut  short ; 
So  he  proves  that  extremes  may  frequently  meet, 
By  working  his  jaws  through  the  play  of  his  feet ; 
In  a  word,  he's  turning  his  legs  to  account, 
And  now  receives  pupils  to  any  amount, 
With  Mrs.  Redower,  who   helps  fill  the  purse ; 
But   lately   her   spirits   have    changed    for    the 

worse, 

Though  expecting  a  pupil,  a  lively  one  too, 
For  whose  better  reception  she  now  has  in  view 
A  neat  little  wardrobe,  quite  small  at  the  best, 
With  worked  uuder-clothes  and  diminutive  vest ; 


48  FITZ  POODLE  AT   NEWPORT. 

At  which,  while  the  fiddle  is  going  without, 
She  patiently  toils  with  some  little  doubt, 
If  business  should  fail,  or  matters  grow  worse, 
What  figure  Augustus  might  cut  as  a  nurse. 

Meanwhile  the  Fitz  Poodles  are  off  on  a  train. 
A  double  one  too,  though  the  meaning  is  plain, 
They  have  rolled  through  the  Sound  on  the 

Admiral's   boat, 

With  music  to  keep  you  awake  while  afloat, 
Where  Fisk   reigns    omnipotent,    great    in    his 

wealth ; 

He  has  dealt  in  his  gold  till  he's  gilded  himself, 
While  his  virtues  reflected  shine  out  in  the 

brass, 
Which  begins  with  the  Captain,  and  ends  with 

the  gas. 

So  the  pair  rattle  on  with  a  jerk   and  a  jar, 
Quite  natural  too,  for  we  seldom  go  far 
On   a  journey  by  rail,  or  a  trip  with  a  wife, 
Without  that  slight  swerving  so  common  in  life, 
Which  is  seen  on  the  stage  in  "  Family  Jars," 
And  is  equally  felt  in  "A  Ride  on  the  Cars." 
But  Niagara  is  reached  with  its  thundering  roar; 
A  carriage  obtained  ;  they  stand  at  the  door 
Of  a  first-class  hotel,  where  Poodle  goes  in, 
In  clothes  superfine   and  a  large  diamond  pin, 
Despite  of  Carlotta,  who  fain  would  repress, 
With  a  taste  better  bred,  his  monkey fied  dress. 
So  behold  them  all  settled,  yet  strange  to  relate, 
The  Count  reached  the  town  by  a  train  rather 

late, 


FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT. 


49 


And    more     singular    far,    "  had    happened    to 

glance 

At  their  registered  names — a  fortunate  chance," 
Which  enabled  that  snaky-eyed  exile  to  take 
A  room  for   the  present,  —  "  indeed    he    might 

make 
His  stay  quite  as  long  as    the    Poodles    should 

stop ;  " 
Then    glanced    at    Carlotta,    who  'blushed   and 

spoke  not. 

So  the  time  sped  along.    Fitz  Poodle  soon  found 
His  enjoyment  consisted  in  circling  round, 
Mid  billiards  and  bars,  with  horses  and  grooms, 
While  the  Count  and  Carlotta  would  chat  in  his 

rooms. 

At  length  when  his  purse  is  depleted  and  low, 
He  is  driven  by  need  to  James  Peter  to   go ; 
So  sits  down  to   pencil  a  note  to  "mon  pere," 
Who   thus    far    had    honored   the  drafts  of  his 

heir. 
He   wrote,    "  I   dare    say   you're    astonished  to 

see, 

And  wonder  why  I  at  Niagara  should  be ; 
But  in  fact,  my  Paternal,  I've  just  settled  down, 
And  cut  all  the  vices,  so  low,  of  the  town,  — 
You  know  the  old  rule  if  a  rake  should  reform, 
He    makes    the    best    husband    that    ever   was 

born ; 

If  this  should  prove  true,  my  Carlotta  is  blessed, 
But    send   me    a  thousand,  and  don't  mind  the 

rest. 


50  FITZ   POODLE   AT   NEWPORT. 

I'll  drop  in  ere  long1,  in  a  sociable  way 
(By  by,  old  Gov.)  when  convenient  to  stay, 
But  just  now  Carlotta  don't  care  for  the  sea  ; 
With  love  from  my  spouse,  your  devoted  Fitz  P." 
To  this  came  an  answer  like  telegram  terse, 
"  I  can't  send  the  money,  Fitz  Poodle,  I'm  burst ; 
I  leave  by  the  steamer;  my  margin's  rubbed  out ; 
You  must  shift  for  yourself;  I  can't    e'en    give 
my  route." 

Fitz  Poodle  was  ruined ;  bad  news  travels  fast ; 
'Tis  vain  to  repent  of  extravagance  past ; 
But  was  it  not  worse  that  his  wife  shoutd  elope 
With   the  Count,  and    her  jewels,  his  ultimate 

hope  ? 
Fitz  Poodle  was  missed ;  'twas  supposed  that  he 

fell, 

But  of  this  no  observer  the  story  could  tell ; 
Yet  certain  it  is  that  his  body  was  found 
Where  the  waltz  of  the  whirlpool  goes    merrily 

round. 

It  may  be  the  man,  though  erring  and  wild, 
Deep  down  in  his  heart  kept  one  well  midefiled, 
The  love   he    had  staked  on  his  false  wife,  and 

lost, 
To   leave    him    a   wreck    on    the  wave   tempest 

tossed, 

Till  despairing  of  life,  and  forgetful  of  God, 
He  sought  a  cold  pillow  beneath  the  green  sod, 
With  coward  heart  hoping  in  rest  of  the  grave 
To  escape  a  disaster  he  dared  not  to  brave. 


FITZ   POODLE   AT   NEWPORT.  51 

And  Carlotta  the  perjured  —  how  fares   it  with 

her? 

Has  Memory  no  power  that  false  soul  to  stir; 
Has  Conscience   no    hold    on  the  heart  that  so 

lied 
To    the    husband    who    honestly    made    her  his 

bride  ? 
Though  polluted  e'en  then  by  the  serpent's  foul 

breath, 
She  vowed    to    prove    faithful,  and   true  to  the 

death. 
Though    so   near  with  her  lover,  she  heard  not 

the  doom 
Of    the    mate   left    to    perish    in    blackness   of 

gloom, 

While  she  found  with  the  Count  a  poor  dwell 
ing  beside 

The  river  that  sweeps  with  Niagara's  full  tide. 
She  was  walking  far  down  by  the  brink  of  the 

stream, 

In  idle  mood  watching  its  bright  eddies  gleam, 
When  the  wave  flung  a  corpse  on  the  shore  at 

her  feet, 

Tossing  the  dead  arm  as  if  it  would  greet 
With  a  gesture  of   welcome    the    foul    faithless 

wife, 
Who  a   brief  space   before   had   caressed   it   in 

life. 

The  shock  was  too  great,  and  reason  dethroned, 
For  the  sin  of  the  past,  if  it  might  be  atoned. 
Yet  ever  in  madness  she  walks  by  the  stream, 


52  FITZ  POODLE   AT   NEWPORT. 

And    sees   the  pale  corpse  with  its  hollow  eyes 

gleam, 
While  the  white  ghostly  fingers  seem  beckoning 

still, 

Clutching  her  own  with  their  terrible  thrill ; 
For   the   spoiler  who  now  should  have  guarded 

her  best, 
Leaves    his  victim  'mid  strangers  to   rave  or  to 

rest, 
And  goes  with  the  jewels  which  most  he  could 

prize,  — 

For  purity  ne'er  was  a  gem  in  his  eyes  ; 
The  flower  once  gathered,  was  soon  thrown  aside, 
For  he  valued  the  widow  e'en  less  than  the  bride ; 
But  fled  with  his  gains  —  the  tale  is  of  old,  — 
A  slave  to  his  lust,  and  still  more  to  his  gold. 

Though  Justice  moves  slowly,  she's  sure  in  the 

end  ; 

As  witness  an  "  invite  "  the  Count  has  to  spend 
A  few  years  to  come  at  a  quiet   retreat, 
Where    every    arrangement,   though    simple,    is 

neat, 

And  ill-disposed  people  kept  out  by  a  grating, 
Are  constantly  watched  by  servants  in  waiting; 
For  the  host  is  so  jealous  he  never   can  bear 
That  his  guests  should  feel  lonely  while  taking 

the  air. 

So  a  careful  companion  is  always  provided, 
To  whose  constant  attention  the    inmate's  con 
fided, 


FITZ  POODLE  AT  NEWPORT.  53 

As  clothed  in  a  uniform,  coarse  but  complete, 
He  shuffles  along-  with  his  iron-clad  feet. 
An  order  of  merit  he  fain  would  decline, 
Were  talking  permitted  by  word  or  by  sign. 
Moreover,  the  Count  has  been  trying  the  bathing, 
Though    greatly    opposed    to    the    cutting    and 
shaving. 


GRACE    AFTER    MEAT. 


THE  vision  has  fled ;  like  a  dream  of  the  night 
The  actors  and  actresses  passed  out  of  sight ; 
The  drop  curtain  falls,  and  my  fancy  forms  melt, 
Like  the  nebulous  stars  of  the  lacteal  belt, 
When    the    day    dawn    creeps   coldly  above   the 

dark   hill, 
And  the  breath  of  the  morning  the  night  vapors 

thrill. 

Nor  fancy  the  figures  my  wand  has  thus  raised, 
To    be    characters    living,    on    which   you   have 

gazed. 

They  are  met  with  each  day  in  city  or  mart, 
The  silly  in  head,  and  corrupted  in  heart. 
Nor   suppose   that    the    poor  and  the  mean  are 

exempt, 

That  'tis  only  to  Lazarus  talents  are  lent 
Of  justice  and  purity,  honor  and  truth, 
Abiding  in  age,  as  implanted  in  youth. 
All    these    may  be    found    mid  the  wealthy  and 

learned ; 

God  heeds  not  the  altar  where  incense  is  burned ; 
Though    the    censer  be  jeweled,  or   hewn   from 

the  stone, 
The  All-seeing  regards  the  oblation    alone. 


GRACE  AFTER   MEAT.  55 

There  are  hands  ever  open  by  riches  made  full, 
While  the  poorer  man's  purse  his  heart-string's 

may  pull; 

There  is  meanness  in  low  life  as  well  as  in  high, 
The  proud,  scornful  lip,  and  the  arrogant  eye. 
We  are  all  of  us  failing ;  e'en  Charity  needs 
The  prayer  "  Help  me,  Lord,"  as  the  saint  tells 

her  beads. 

Then  this  be  our  motto,  mid  folly  and  pride, 
Remember  the  mansion  we're  walking-  beside, 
Whose  roof  is  of  sod,  and  its  fashion  of  old, 
With  earth  for  a  pillow,  and  dust  to  enfold, 
Where    the    night  is  unbroken,  the  season  the 

same, 

And  the  sleeper  unmindful  of  honor  or  shame. 
Then  pause  for  a  moment,  in  Fashion's  gay  tide, 
In  the  mansions  you  build  by  the  blue  water 

side; 
There's  rebuke  in  each  billow  that  breaks  'neath 

the  cliff, 

There's  a  tremulous  story  on  Ocean's  white  lip, 
As  it  falls  into  foam,  and  the  wild  waters  moan, 
For  it  speaks  of  an  Ocean  more  vast  than  its 

own,  - 

A  sea  that  is  shoreless,  yet  silent  and  still, 
To  which  we  g-o  down,  let  us  strive  as  we  will ; 
Where  the  rich  and  the  poor,  the  high  and  the 

low, 

Are  lost  mid  its  solemn  mysterious  flow ; 
Where  humanity  meets  unstripped  of  its  pride, 
Save  its  record  with  God,  and  nothing  beside. 


UC  SOUTHERN I  REGIONAL;  BRARY   AGILITY 


A  A      000279634    0 


